Being Autistic

It is all about the BUTs

Its hard being Autistic, BUT I love it. 
I'm often misunderstood and find everyday things challenging, 
BUT it makes me better at things you would never see.

It doesn't mean I sit in a dark corner rocking back and forth or counting for hours.  Honestly, that assumption is offensive.

It doesn't mean I can't hold a conversation, or that I am unable to care for myself or others, or that I am a burden to those I love.

IT DOES MEAN, my brain works different from yours. 

But, other than that, I'm just like you! 
I'm a Mom, a professional, a Wife, an amateur designer, and a home maker. 
I've taught professionally, run teams at leading companies, and worked in leadership in a multi-million $ business.

But sometimes I stutter, sometimes I panic, and sometimes I can't talk. It means I hate bright lights, don't understand sarcasm, and will probably never make eye contact with you.
But that has never made me less. Honestly it makes me more. More sensitive, more aware, more creative, more ME.

I bet you didn't know that 0.6% of the worlds population is like me. That's the same percentage as Type 1 Diabetes. 1 out of every 160 people. You probably have twice that number of friends on your Facebook (which means you probably know someone else like me).
Fortune 500 companies love us because, "Those with autism are unusually detail-oriented, highly analytical, and able to focus intensely on tasks, making them valuable employees."
- Fortune Magazine.
We often get lost in the fast pace of the world, and are often overwhelmed by all that is going on,
BUT that doesn't lower our value to society. 

So please, in this time where we rethink status, race, equality and value of humans, remember that guy who never talks to you but gets stuff done. He may not look like a friend to you, BUT you may be the best friend he has.


my brain works


from yours."

"I bet you didn't know that 0.6% of the world's population is like me."

"I have found all the Love I could ever get!"
People Pleasers seem to get nowhere.
I know. I am one of them. No matter what I do, I want more love.

Often when people find out how different I am they are astonished.
 “You look SO normal!”   “I would never have guessed”
“But I thought that ____________ did__________”.
Fill in the blanks with any option.
 I thought Missionaries wore clothes from the 90s business movement. I thought that moms only talked about their kids. I thought people with autism were socially inept. I thought Christians preached to everyone all the time.
I thought people like YOU were not like ME.
 Apply it to anything you want. What is your thing?
Why do I not fit your expectations?
The real thing is that as a People Pleaser, I am willing to be whatever you want me to be. Few boundaries or reservations keep me from giving up what I would want to make you happy. I hope you see how unhealthy that sounds! But when you look at your life, your neighborhood people pleaser is probably your favorite person. There are so many variations but in reality, the thing that makes them happy is that you are happy.
Why….  Because we are trained that if we do good, people like us. If we are good, people will love us. If people are happy, we get even more love.
Well I have good news for all of you people pleasers out there!! I have found all the Love I could ever get! Its true! And its not from my husband, or from my child, parents, friends, neighbors, or any person in Kentucky. Its from the only one who Loves Unconditionally ALL THE TIME! God loves you so much! And not for anything that you have done or will do or even could do. He loves you just for being YOU! Sometimes that just blows my mind! How could someone, let alone a PERFECT GOD, love me for just… me? But He does. He loves me with all the love I could ever want… and I do not have to change for any of it. When I tell Him, I am tired and I just want to hide, He says “I love you. Hide here.” When I’m angry He says “I love you. Talk to me and Ill take away the anger.” When I feel broken, I do not have to change or fake it. He says “I love you. Let me hold you.” When I feel funny brained and no one understands “I love you. I made that brain just like that. You are my creation.”
Do you KNOW a love like that? A love where you do not have to change or act or do? A love where you can be nothing and still have all the love in the universe? I do. It is called DVU in Hidi. I would love to share it with you, and how the Hidi found such love.


How people handle stress can be a big way to set yourself apart from the crowd.
Are you the kind of person who takes charge, leads people well, fights the good battles, and seems to never stop or rest? All good things are worth fighting for, Right?
Or maybe you're more likely to hide away, duck out of the situation, and find a happy place. If its hard it can’t be worth it, Right?
Or are you that person who freaks out, gets angry, yells and huffs and puffs? It's not fair that things are hard, Right?
Or maybe you have a totally different style, or it depends on who is around, or how long has it been since you had a fresh breath of air.
In the end, it is all about self-control.
What is worth stuffing inside and what is worth letting out?
We all struggle with stress! Why? Not having enough time ... Unhealthy lifestyle ... Taking on too many things ... Conflicts in the workplace or at home ... Inability to accept things as they are ... Failure to take time out and relax ... Failure to trust God … wait … that couldn’t be why I'm stressed. The bible says 
“I can do ALL THINGS through Christ who strengthens ME.” (my wrong emphasis added)
Or did I miss the point? Did anyone else see my pride enter the room like a giant boogie man coming to eat me? Yeah… me too!
So what is the answer?
Just have more Faith and Self-Control?
Why don’t we just fill the grocery cart with Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, and Gentleness while we are at it - since it's that easy.
So, what is the answer when you don't like the way you react to stress?

I am no expert on this (just ask my husband), but I have found one thing that changes everything about me. It's that simple Sunday School answer: Jesus. It really is as simple as Stop, Drop, and Roll.
STOP what you are doing. It is not worth losing your witness over.
DROP to your knees. Spend some time with the One in Charge and say you are sorry.
ROLL over. You are Not in ChargeHe is. Give whatever you're so stressed about to Him.

Well… I guess its time for me to go practice what I preach again.
Remember, it does not matter who you are or how different you feel, we all deal with stress every day, and we all act differently in response to it. Wherever that response takes you (panic attack or dark room binging Netflix) know that He loves you just the same and it is so much easier to put out a fire if you Stop, Drop and Roll.

Becoming Islanders